LGBTQ+ Counselling/Trans isses/passing/ coming out/internalised homophobia

LGBTQI+ Counselling

Even though there are lots of achievements for LGBTQ+ rights in some countries at the present moment, there is still prejudice and violence in our society against LGBTQ+ and it can have lasting effects. For many people, the experience of suffering discrimination, victimisation or homophobic attitudes can impact how they can come to terms with their sexuality.

On top of this, some people suffer rejection from their families or friends, or both and these experiences are likely to be a source of substantial emotional and psychological suffering.

Sometimes people do not realise they suffer microaggressions and how they can affect them. Microaggressions are termed as the everyday, elusive, deliberate — and frequently unintended — interactions or behaviours that convey some sort of discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a LGBTQI+, racial or ethnic minority prejudice toward historically marginalized groups. Some people who commit microaggressions might not even be aware of them.

Someone observing on how well an Asian British speaks English, which assumes the Asian British was not born here, is one example of a microaggression. Presuming that a gay man has a wife or make a joke about someone being camp. Sometimes people struggle with other calling them by the wrong pronoun.

I have experience in working with LGBTQ+ clients and can support you on your personal journey. I understand the challenges of being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or non-heterosexual or non-cisgendered (LBGTQ+), and I offer a safe and non-judgemental environment in which you can explore these issues. Therapy will help you to challenge the problems you may be facing and help you to live a more authentic life.

As individuals, we have to face various problems and aim to overcome many obstacles in our lives. Approximately 20% of the population of large urban centres will suffer from depression and anxiety at some point in their life. However, LGBTQ+ individuals suffer a great deal of mental distress and it can affect all aspects of their life, including self-esteem, relationships and career choices having a shattering effect on health and quality of life.

You can find me in the Gendered Intelligence Therapists and Counsellors Directory. This directory is a listing of members of Gendered Intelligence’s Network for Therapists and Counsellors who wish to offer their services to trans people (and their families and partners).

All therapists and counsellors on the directory:

have completed a two-day course for therapists and counsellors, Working Alongside Trans and Gender Variant People.
have shown competency through an application form
have signed up to the GI Standards of Therapeutic Provision
receive on-going group supervision
receive regular newsletters

Competency is demonstrated by being registered with a professional body, qualified to a certain standard, having prior work experience and/ or through participation in the GI therapist and counsellors supervision/consultation sessions.

Whilst volunteering for the LGBTI Network - Amnesty International, I actively campaigned for trans people rights such as the 'The Gender Recognition Act Government Consultation' in the UK and Sarkis in Iceland. I have also represented the Psychotherapy and Counselling Union (PCU) at the Memorandum of Understanding 2 (MoU2) coalition to Ban Conversion Therapy in the UK.

I take seriously my professional development and I participate in several pieces of training and conferences related to LGBTIQ+ mental health and rights per year. I attended to the Pink Therapy International Summer School 'Working with Sexuality & Relationship Diversities (GSRD) clients' and you can find me in the Pink Therapy Directory. I am also an accredited Pink Therapy GSRD-Aware Trainer.

Ban Conversion Therapy Demonstration London April 2022.jpg

I work with individuals who identify as transgender, non-binary, gender-queer, gender-questioning, genderfluid and gender-fluid, and other people that don't fit in these labels. I offer therapy for anyone who wants to explore their identity, regardless of whether they are considering or undergoing transition. I attended the Gendered Intelligence training 'Working Alongside Trans, Gender Diverse and Questioning People'.

I am also a Kink aware therapist. I recognize BDSM play as a normal part of the sexual spectrum and I am able to distinguish healthy BDSM play from non-consensual abuse. I have gained my knowledge about BDSM through books, articles, lectures, websites, and/or discussion groups. I am aware of what constitutes safe and unsafe play (acknowledging of course those different folks have different standards for that); the types of roles and role expectations that are commonly encountered in the BDSM scene; I understand the stress that some clients may experience in keeping their BDSM lifestyle secret; and for many kinky clients, BDSM might not have anything to do with the reason that the client is coming in for therapy. Quite often, BDSM is just another facet of the client's life, like their vegetarianism or their hobby of knitting.

There are many BDSM "specific topics that clients might think of working through with the help of a kink "aware therapist”. Some of the more common examples are:

• The coming out process, both to yourself and to others
• Seek therapeutic guidance to explore your feelings about your awakening interest in BDSM
• Is this a discovery that you are elated about and want support in learning more about?
• Do you wish to seek out social gatherings or support groups of like-minded folks, or do you simply want to mull over your desires in private for the time being?
• Are you having a hard time reconciling your more exotic desires with the messages of disapproval that you may have heard from society? Such messages may come in many forms the mainstream may believe that BDSM equates to violence, the queer community might not acknowledge straight BDSM participants who self-identify as queer as such and the lesbian/feminist communities might perceive women who are into BDSM as identifying with the male oppressor or female as victim role. I can help you to address any internalized kink phobia that may arise.
• You might also use therapy to help in your decision process when making choices about the people to whom you'd like to disclose your BDSM interests.
• I can help you to make informed choices about whom to tell and how to bring the topic up and help you to process your feelings about that person’s response afterwards.

Benefits of Counselling and Psychotherapy:

· Confidential, safe and non-judgmental environment in which to discuss your concerns, emotions and feelings.

· Support with the process of ‘coming out’ or ‘coming in’ to friends and family.

· Working with shame and Internalised homophobia/ transphobia/ lesbophobia/ biphobia.

· Working with ChemSex.

· Discuss and work through difficult issues, such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, addiction, sex and relationship issues.

· Support for family members who may have difficulty coming to terms with their member’s sexuality.

Initial Appointment