In the realm of mental health and psychotherapy, the importance of creating a safe, inclusive space for all individuals cannot be overstated. As we delve into the significance of September being Bisexual Awareness Month, it provides us with a poignant opportunity to shed light on the unique experiences of those who identify as bisexual and the ways in which therapists can support them effectively.
Defining Bisexuality: Embracing Diversity
Bisexuality refers to romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender, including males, females, or people of the same and different genders. Some definitions expand this to include attraction to all gender identities, similar to pansexuality, which rejects the gender binary.
Sexual orientation exists on a spectrum, and people may realize their orientation at different stages in life. Sexual attraction, behavior, and identity don’t always align—for instance, someone might identify as bisexual without having had sexual experiences.
Terms like queer, polysexual, and sexually fluid also fall under the bisexual umbrella, encompassing a wide range of non-monosexual identities and behaviors. This broader community challenges the assumption that attraction is always directed toward one gender.
It is essential to recognize that bisexuality is just as valid and significant as any other sexual orientation on the spectrum. By acknowledging the diversity within the bisexual community, we can begin to appreciate the multifaceted nature of human sexuality.
The Intersection of Challenges and Joys
Being bisexual comes with its own set of challenges and joys. Individuals may face stigma, discrimination, and invalidation of their identity. Navigating relationships, both personal and societal, can also be complex for bisexual individuals. On the flip side, there is a profound sense of empowerment and self-discovery that often accompanies embracing one's bisexuality. Therapists have a pivotal role in helping clients explore and express these emotions in a safe environment.
Overcoming Internalised Biphobia: A Therapeutic Journey
Overcoming self-prejudice against bisexual identity requires a multi-faceted approach. Therapists can play a crucial role in assisting clients in building resilience, fostering self-acceptance, and challenging internalised stigma. By creating a non-judgmental space where clients feel heard and understood, therapists can empower individuals to navigate and combat external biases effectively.
Moss (2002) describes internalised homophobia [biphobia] as a persistent, systematic negative emotional state, particularly characterized by shame and self-loathing about one’s sexual identity. This internalization often stems from the pervasive influence of heteronormative cultural attitudes, which shape how LGBTIQ+ individuals perceive themselves. It's not solely tied to sexual behavior but encompasses a broader awareness of self, beginning long before an individual becomes conscious of their sexual orientation. From early childhood, LGBTIQ+ individuals may sense their difference, often leading to a belief that this difference is flawed and something to be concealed.
As children, they may feel a deep sense of disappointment, recognizing that they do not fit into the familial expectations, often without understanding why or how they fall short. This early awareness can evoke a vague but powerful shame, tied to a perceived failure in meeting societal or familial norms.
These observations underscore how internalised homophobia, influenced by societal expectations, can profoundly affect the self-awareness and emotional well-being of LGBTIQ+ individuals.
Shame
Cohler & Galatzer-Levy (2000) highlight shame as one of the most potent emotions linked to having a conflicted and socially devalued identity, particularly for individuals who are LGBTQI+. This feeling of shame stems from the clash between one’s personal identity and societal expectations. Goffman (1963) suggests that our identities are shaped through the acquisition of social and cultural knowledge, as well as through the positive and negative experiences we encounter throughout our lives. Our identity, therefore, is constructed through social interactions.
Goffman, E. (1963) Stigma: Notes of the Management of a Spoilt Identity. Englewood-Cliffs, N.Y.: Prentice-Hall.Goffman makes an important distinction between personal identity—the internal sense of self—and social identity, which reflects how individuals are perceived by others throughout their lives. When someone's life history is marked by interruption or conflict, they may struggle with a sense of disconnection between their internal self and the person they believe themselves to be. This disconnection amplifies a feeling of brokenness, as the gap between who they are and what society deems acceptable creates a deepening sense of shame.
For LGBTIQ+ individuals, this sense of being part of a "shameful group" can intensify, as societal norms often dictate that their identity is something to be hidden. Any attempt to conceal or anonymize one’s true self further reinforces this shame, creating a cycle of alienation from both society and the self. The disjunction between personal and social identity becomes a painful reminder of societal rejection, deepening feelings of inadequacy and brokenness.
Working Therapeutically with Bisexual Individuals: A Framework for Support
When I work with bisexual clients, I adopt a cultural competency and affirming approach. It is essential to understand the nuances of Gender and Sexual Relationship Diversity (GSRD) to provide effective and sensitive care. By incorporating intersectional perspectives and addressing the unique challenges faced by bisexual individuals, I create a therapeutic alliance built on trust and empathy.
Supporting Bisexual Individuals in Relationships
Navigating relationships can be particularly challenging for bisexual individuals, given the prevalence of stereotypes and misconceptions. In therapy, exploring communication skills, boundary setting, and self-advocacy can empower clients to navigate their relationships authentically. By addressing issues such as biphobia, fetishization, and erasure, therapists can assist clients in fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Conclusion: Embracing Inclusivity and Empathy
In conclusion, as a psychotherapist, it is my ethical imperative to provide a safe and affirming space for all individuals, including those who identify as bisexual. By educating myself, challenging biases, and fostering a culture of inclusivity, I can create a therapeutic environment that celebrates diversity and empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves.
As we commemorate Bisexual Awareness Month, let us commit to advocating for the rights and well-being of bisexual individuals, both within and outside the therapy room. Together, through empathy, understanding, and support, we can create a more inclusive and affirming world for all.
This blog post sheds light on the experiences of bisexual individuals and provides therapists with valuable insights on how to support them effectively. By fostering a culture of inclusivity and empathy, mental health professionals can create a safe space where all clients feel respected and understood.
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References:
Cohler, B. and Galatzer-Levy, R.M. (2000) The Course of Gay and Lesbian Lives: Social and Psychoanalytic Perspectives. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Goffman, E. (1963) Stigma: Notes of the Management of a Spoilt Identity. Englewood-Cliffs, N.Y.: Prentice-Hall.
Moss, D. (2001) ‘Civilization and Its Discontents: An Ongoing Update. Part 2: Homophobia in Men’, Psychoanalytic Review, pp. 393–400.
Moss, D. (2002) ‘Internalized Homophobia in Men: Wanting in the First-Person Singular, Hating in the First-Person Plural’, Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 71(1), pp. 21–50.
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